The Divorce Process, Explained

Same court order. A different road to get there.

Every divorce in South Africa ends the same way: a court grants a decree of divorce. Lawyers, mediators, litigation, a platform: what actually changes between them is how two people get there, not where they end up.

Strip away the emotion and a divorce is a legal action like any other. It starts with a summons. It ends with a court order. What happens in between depends almost entirely on one question: do you and your spouse agree on the terms?

If you agree on everything, the property, the debt, the maintenance, the children's arrangements, before the legal process really gets going, you're on what's generally called the uncontested route. If you don't agree yet, you're on the contested route, at least until you do. Most of what people mean when they talk about "how divorce works" is really a description of these two routes, and the professionals who traditionally guide each one.

Two ways to end up in front of a judge

The uncontested route

Here, agreement usually comes first. A couple works out the terms, sometimes directly, sometimes with a mediator structuring the conversation, sometimes through their own attorneys corresponding on their behalf. Once everything is settled, it's written into a settlement agreement, and a parenting plan if there are children. An attorney then prepares and issues the summons and supporting papers, largely as a formality: because nothing is opposed, the matter goes onto the unopposed roll rather than a trial roll, and a court can grant the decree of divorce at a single, short hearing.

The contested route

Contested divorces start from the opposite direction. A summons is issued while one or more issues, often maintenance, property, or the children's care, are still unresolved. Each spouse typically retains their own attorney, and for High Court matters, sometimes an advocate as well, to represent only their own interests. What follows can include a notice of intent to defend, discovery, urgent interim applications for maintenance or legal costs, and, in a minority of cases, a trial.

This is also where mediation shows up most formally in the traditional process. Since 2020, Rule 41A of the Uniform Rules of Court has required anyone issuing or defending a new court action, including a divorce summons, to file a notice stating whether they're willing to mediate. It doesn't force either spouse to settle, but a court can take an unreasonable refusal to mediate into account when it eventually decides who pays the legal costs.

By most accounts, around nine in ten contested divorces still settle before or on the day of trial. In practice, this means most contested couples spend the bulk of their time and money negotiating their way back to the same agreement they could have reached earlier, just later, and considerably more expensively.

Where lawyers and mediators actually fit

The two roles get blurred in conversation, so it's worth being precise.

• A mediator is a neutral professional, often but not always a lawyer, who runs structured sessions to help a couple identify the issues, exchange information, and negotiate their own settlement. A mediator doesn't represent either spouse and doesn't draft or file legal documents.

• An attorney represents one spouse's interests specifically: advising them, negotiating on their behalf, and handling the legal mechanics of drafting the summons and settlement agreement, arranging service, and taking the matter through court.

In a traditional divorce, reaching agreement and completing the legal process are usually handled by different people entirely: a mediator or each spouse's own attorney for the negotiation, and an attorney for the legal mechanics. Most couples need at least one of these professionals involved just to get through the process at all.

Where On Good Terms changes the road

On Good Terms doesn't change what the law requires. A court still needs to grant a decree of divorce, and a summons still needs to be issued and properly served for that to happen. What changes is the part before that: how the two of you get to an agreement in the first place.

Instead of two separate attorneys corresponding on each spouse's behalf, or coordinating calendars with an outside mediator, each person works through the platform privately, at their own pace. It identifies what you already agree on, structures the conversation around what you don't, and guides you through the open issues with neutral language and practical options rather than adversarial positioning.

Once you've reached agreement, the process looks like any other uncontested divorce, because legally, it is one. Your settlement agreement and parenting plan are legally reviewed, the summons and supporting papers are issued and served, the matter is placed on the unopposed roll, and a court grants your decree of divorce.

The same finishing line, from two different starting points:

• Traditional: Attorneys & mediation → Summons issued & served → Decree of divorce granted

• On Good Terms: Guided platform negotiation → Summons issued & served → Decree of divorce granted

The difference isn't that On Good Terms skips the legal process. It's that the hardest, slowest, and most expensive part of a traditional divorce, working out what you actually agree on, happens on a platform built for exactly that, instead of in the back-and-forth between separate lawyers or scheduled mediation sessions. Everything after that runs through the same courts, under the same Divorce Act, to the same decree.

• One process, not two law firms

• Legally reviewed agreements

• Same court, same decree

Could this be your route?

• You've both decided the marriage is ending

• You want to avoid unnecessary conflict and cost

• You're willing to disclose financial information honestly

• You may disagree, but you're willing to negotiate

Find out whether On Good Terms could work for you

General information only, not legal advice for your particular circumstances. Every marriage, and every divorce, carries its own facts, and this article does not account for domestic violence, coercive control, or other situations where a collaborative process may not be appropriate.

This is general information about South African law and practice, written to help you understand your situation. It is not advice about your particular circumstances, and it does not replace advice from your own attorney. If something here raises a question about your own separation, a person will answer it.